Hunter eyes.

Today I went to an event put on by the creative writing department of my university.

As a creative writing graduate and due to my friend performing I decided to come along with an open mind to hopefully experience something new and exciting that would motivate me to get involved with the creative community.

The event took place at the top of a pub and consisted of numerous borderline megalomaniacs performing various pieces they’d created during their time at university.

The night opened with some blazer-clad mousey-type egotistical pea-headed twerp performing some kind of poetry/ramble piece which consisted of seizure-esque eye movements coincided with the erratic arm movements of a flaming mime high on ecstasy. On each side of a swift costume change consisting of a stupid hat she spoke about something that I can’t quite remember with the conviction of someone who quite possibly had the cure to all irreversible diseases. She even stood up for a second slot because somebody didn’t turn up, much to the dismay of everyone there.

I spent the duration of the ‘performance’ with my head in my hands trying not to get escorted out of the building due to uncontrollable giggling.

I was not the only one in this situation.

My friends, including the one who was forced to read her piece, found it almost impossible to keep their composure too.

Kudos for trying and having the guts to get on that stage and perform, but don’t hold yourself like you’re some kind of hero for doing so.

Don’t get me wrong, there was the occasional sincere bit of poetry or what not that I actually found enjoyable, but that’s not what I will take from this event.

What I will take from tonight is the pure seriousness and self-importance portrayed by certain performers, their sheer inability to realise that those things they’re performing will never alter perceptions, never mind lives.

As a writer my job is to create something that people will enjoy and appreciate, at most I’d love to be able to inspire.

Nothing I saw performed today by such pompous writers will create anything but a half-arsed smile and I think that knowing that would give those writers a much needed injection of humility.

Thank you insomnia for giving me so much time to think. It was time mostly spent over-analysing that which needn’t have been.

It’s so much easier to simplify all that whizzes around in your mind than go over it over and over again.

It’s not so hard to differentiate between what matters and what doesn’t when you put your mind to it. It’s all down to perspective and proportion.

Some things just aren’t worth the effort. Even those things which, in time, you’ve built up to be something of unparalleled beauty.

The hardest thing is just letting go. Admitting that you can finally see things for how they really are, even if they seem far too complex for your conscious to conceive.

Find a way to avoid anticipating regret, just take leap of faith and pray that everything will work out for the best.

Wave the white flag and win the war.

Here’s some discarded draft that I wrote a few months ago for my first idea for my final portfolio… Perhaps I’ll carry on with this idea once university is over.

That’s the thing about gifts, if you don’t like them you have the option of giving them back. I have a sneaking suspicion that fallen angels don’t come with receipts.

This was no gift, this was a fucking nightmare.

Since when did my life get so bad that I needed an ethereal shadow monster to watch over me twenty-four seven?

The highest form of self awareness is realising you’re just a character is someone else’s dream.

One final push until I finish my first draft of my Final Portfolio piece.

As I’m sure a lot of you know, I’m prettttyyyy lazy. I’d quite literally spend all my days in bed playing xbox if I could.

That’s all changed my friends! As of three weeks ago I started the INSANITY work out. I won’t go into exactly what it is (google it) but what I will tell you is that it lives up to its name.

Forty or so minutes of intense work out six times a week. I used to run for an hour on a treadmill when I was at my peak of fitness, that seems like nothing now!!!

The first month is really hard, but the scariest part is that it’s only preparing you for the second month… Which will no doubt make me both cry and throw up at the same time.

Anyway, let me tell you I absolutely love it. I do it as soon as I get out of bed and it sets you up for the rest of the day. I haven’t changed my diet but I already feel fitter and more flexible and super proud of myself for keeping up with it.

March and April are two months of massive change for me and I can base it on Insanity. I’ve done so much more work because my brain is raring to go and I feel great, which is something to take from it even if I don’t see changes in my body.

It’s probably the toughest physical workout that you will EVER do and unless you can motivate yourself to INSANE levels then it probably won’t work for you.

So yeah, there’s lots of people that I follow/follow me who constantly complain about being unfit and wishing they looked better. My advice: Get a copy of Insanity. You won’t regret it!